Mara why, Michelle?

So Michelle Obama is tooling around Jozi causing traffic jams with her convoy of black SUVs. Whilst here, she plans to do the usual – visit Madiba, visit Soweto and a few museums.  Kiss a few babies in skwatta camps. I’m just happy that Winnie was kept out of her way, because people, is there anyone more media sluttish than Winnie Madikizela Mandela?

My question is this, why is she here? Why did Michelle Obama decide to visit our sunny South Africa? I have been scrambling the media to figure it out, but all the papers and tweets seem to talk about is speculation – Michelle Obama will bring Economic emancipation, Michelle Obama will be the one to exposure corrupt governance? What?! From where?

Today she will make a speech? Civil right and apartheid liberation, ok… nothing I haven’t heard before. Again I pose the question? Why is she here? Here are a few of my speculations:

1.       Mandela is near the end and she wanted to meet him before he meets Jesus?

2.       Barack Obama wants to take a second wife, like our president, and she wants go get more information?

3.       Michelle has to choose the second wife?

4.       The Obamas want to adopt a white South African child?

5.       Michelle wants to be the next president of South Africa?

Now only time will tell if my suspicions are factual.

Let’s wait, in the traffic she has created

Love you Michelle

Jarred

My Date Drive

This blog post serves only as a plea to VW to give me a Polo GTI for at least a Year (or forever).

The weekend started off awesome, I had a fantastic event at work with a few of South Africa’s very important people (and not the fools that are interviewed on Top Billing, actual Economic movers and shakers). They were all happy and thus I got too drink and have dinner for free at the Melrose Arch Hotel. My best two buds and I went to my place and polished a few more bottles of wine and proceeded to sleep on my double bed. Yes, with the right people you can party anywhere.

My excitement was heightened when Saturday morning broke and graced us with the day that would be called, POLO DATE DRIVE DAY. I reserved my energy (sleeping all day) to shower and groom for the 6pm alarm. The Polo Date drive time. So I headed off, in the Soccer Striker 2010 limited edition Kia Picanto, to the Fire and Ice hotel. I was as excited as the fat kid in the Charlie and the Chocolate factory books (ok movies) when he sees the chocolate river, you know the one.

Now to understand my excitement about the Polo, I need to give you a brief history. I recently moved back to Jozi after spending a year in the village of PMB, KZN (see previous blogs J) whilst driving in my 1997 Mercedes C220 Elegance (named Duchess) I managed to blow the engine, after months of jerking in the driver’s seat and begging mechanics to fix my baby (the name changed to Jezebel- for obvious reasons). I was beginning to doubt the universe would ever send me a car. I would be doomed to asking for rides, borrowing friends cars (love them muchly) and hitting the pavement because of that stupid legislation about the consumer credit act… SUCKS!

Back in the day, when Mbeki was president and my biggest issue was what cocktail to drink at Six in Melville after a day at UJ, I used to drive a Polo TDI. Those were fun times. So that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I made a big deal about the GTI, because I take it as the universe telling me to chill for a bit, and wait out the period it takes to get a new car (hopefully a week for VW to decide)

Let’s just say the Date Drive was fantastic, I spoke about  the GTI to everyone I came across and im sure my sales skill paid off and VW SA will have a few buyers to cover the cost of the one they will be generously giving to me.

My Sunday morning drive was so sad having to give the GTI back; I swear I was the saddest girl at Melrose Arch since Khanyi was kicked out on her toned ass.

So VW SA, this is my plea. I know CEO, CFO, CIO and lots of hos… They will all get the heads up on the fantastic, fabulousness, absolutely thrillingnesss of the POLO GTI.

Have fun everyone

J