Undoubtedly the best jobs in South Africa are a presenter on Top Billing and a Zuma relative. Although the latter is not a job, it is a way of getting large amounts of income. It is a job in the simplest form of the definition.
Khulubuse Zuma is such a role model. I admire the man for his courageous waist line. He and the belt that holds his ginormous pants, up have gone through tough times. He (or rather his belt) is a true survivor. Having faced adversity – in the form of a huge lamb shank- he has truly made me proud to be a skinny South African. He has pillaged and fought his way through the system with the same gut and appetite as he would a baby piglet on a Thursday night dinner.
Maybe the larger than life, Khulubuse would be perfectly suited as the go to man for Top Billing Business show? I know I would be interested in watching his belly giggle as he invites us into his business of mismanagement and cholesterol. I would be glued to my television screen the same way that he is glued to his full English breakfast every morning from 9am – 9.02am. How fantastic it would be to sit across a business meeting and watch him enjoy a mega cappuccino, mega muffin and choc chip croissant, melie-meal porridge, mash potatoes, Coke Zero and Coke while reviewing contracts of employment for his mining company. He does care, it’s just that the chicken stained the part where he was supposed to sigh and because he always finishes his food, he ate the page. Khulubuse has too much heart and stretch marks to not pay hard working employees a salary.
So here’s to you Mr Zuma, I raise my glass. (Before you drink all the champagne and probably eat the glass.) I salute your Ubuntu and flabby gravy filled thighs and for keeping the poultry industry profitable (at least KFC employees are getting paid)
Bye Bye… Im hungry
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