Let them eat cake

Undoubtedly the best jobs in South Africa are a presenter on Top Billing and a Zuma relative. Although the latter is not a job, it is a way of getting large amounts of income. It is a job in the simplest form of the definition.

Khulubuse Zuma is such a role model. I admire the man for his courageous waist line. He and the belt that holds his ginormous pants, up have gone through tough times. He (or rather his belt) is a true survivor. Having faced adversity – in the form of a huge lamb shank- he has truly made me proud to be a skinny South African. He has pillaged and fought his way through the system with the same gut and appetite as he would a baby piglet on a Thursday night dinner.

Maybe the larger than life, Khulubuse would be perfectly suited as the go to man for Top Billing Business show? I know I would be interested in watching his belly giggle as he invites us into his business of mismanagement and cholesterol. I would be glued to my television screen the same way that he is glued to his full English breakfast every morning from 9am – 9.02am. How fantastic it would be to sit across a business meeting and watch him enjoy a mega cappuccino, mega muffin and choc chip croissant, melie-meal porridge, mash potatoes, Coke Zero and Coke while reviewing contracts of employment for his mining company.  He does care, it’s just that the chicken stained the part where he was supposed to sigh and because he always finishes his food, he ate the page. Khulubuse has too much heart and stretch marks to not pay hard working employees a salary.

So here’s to you Mr Zuma, I raise my glass. (Before you drink all the champagne and probably eat the glass.) I salute your Ubuntu and flabby gravy filled thighs and for keeping the poultry industry profitable (at least KFC employees are getting paid)

Bye Bye… Im hungry

So over humanity…

A bbm message went around about a young lad that was lost whilst diving near the Coast of Robin Island. It is South African to know that the waters are shark infested and freezing cold, so why would you do something like that? In an episode of Sex and the City, the Samantha Jones used the words _”Vagina Smagina” while describing her then stint as a lesbian. I know quite a few ladies that have explored Lesbo-Island. Why would you do that? 

Does one reach a point in life where the norm is just plain boring and something radical has to be done to change it? The boy was in his early 20s, I doubt he had babies and a career but still felt the need to explore. Samantha had a career, money, and men but felt that a lesbian experience was in order? How selfish.

I think it was selfish of the young man not to consider the consequences of his actions and the devastation it might have caused those close to him (not to mention the disruption on my BBM). I was also selfish of Samantha to enter into the lesbian affair knowing it would not last and simply concern herself with the notion that one day “I will move on”.  That’s bull shit.

No, that’s life. Every 4 years we change our cars and strive to afford that house in the northern parts of the city. I have ached and desired for more since before I can remember, but I forgot that at the time of longings I had more than enough. When will we stop our wanting and desire for change and excitement? When we completely depleted the planet of all natural resources and driven each other to a state of recourse?

How are we ever going to get out of this mess…

God help us all..

Passion Power

Today management turned to me and said, “To do anything good in life, you need passion”. How true is this statement? To me your passion is that which sparks and excites your life. Your passion should thrust you out of bed and push you throughout the day?

The question can be asked, what if you are not at all good at your passion. The comedians I watched on Monday evening had a passion for their “craft” but there was no passion from the audience - although a really old gay man was rather excited, not sure he had the exact passion the comedians were looking for.  Will one ever know if the passion you fell for particular thing in life is the right?

Can children be your passion? But then what happens when the kids get older, the parent is left with a sense of loss and (none will admit this openly) a few feel they devoted their life to their kids and forgot their passions.

I know thing are only going to get better form this point, maybe not in the time schedule or the magnitude that I want them to (driving an M3 by June) but they are getting better. For everyone!

So I will leave you guys and girls with this, never forget your passion and don’t ever lose faith

Im sure patience is a virtue - But who cares!

time - 5.11
Date - 4 April
Location - Sandton, JHB, South Africa

I really feel that some supernatural force is trying to teach me to have more patience. Why the heck would I have to constantly be waiting for things, if that was not the case?

Sometimes it feels as though all we do is spend our time in a big waiting room. We wait in traffic, we wait for the dream job or that sunny Maldives holiday, we wait to fall in love and we wait to use our Jamie Oliver pots on our own stove in our own house. Why?

Are we a 20 something generation of waiters? I thought we were the instant gratification generation? We want it now, doesn’t matter the cost or the outcome of our need. (Yes, getting the Tasha’s lunch in 12 minutes is a need).  If I had cruised to Joburg from Pmb 4 days ago, instead of driving my vintage German sedan at 150kms per hour, I might have been driving it home right now, but alas. I am waiting.  Waiting with breathe that is bated for the mechanic to be done.

This morning in traffic, my fabulous friend, wanted me to switch to a faster lane and to jump orange robots. “Don’t let him in” yelled my friend. Why? So I can get to start my first official day of work? Only to spend the afternoon, waiting?

So go on my friends, wait. Sit in your cars and houses and desks, waiting. Waiting for life to get better and eventually to be over…

What are you waiting for, a written invitation to get the hell out of my way?

J

You just gotta love them...

Time – 10.27

Date -/4/2011

Location – Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa. (YAY)

I know I have been a bit quite for a while. This is due to the move and the dramatics that followed. Someone once said that moving is one of the most stressful things a human being can go through. Let me top that; I moved and had my engine blow up on Friday afternoon, forcing me to spend my weekend with my non-drinking fiercely Christian parents. Yes, stressful does not even begin to describe my first weekend in Jozi. Arguments ensued, names were called and children were crying, but alas I am alive and so are my folks. And, I love them.

Your parents are the ones that God (or the universe- whatever) has decided are the best for you.  I think mine are, but I don’t think Hitler’s kids would have felt the same way.  Sure, many of us would love to be closer and more honest with our folks  (like Nora and the kids in Brothers and Sisters) some children are lucky enough to have that kind of successful relationship, others need to work on it and some never get that kind of love they crave in a parent. That’s sad.

Friends, be kind to your parents. They might pull your curly hair with the brush, force you to wash their cars, argue with you about your choice in crockery or simply demand that you make them dinner.  A friend once told me she would give up everything in an instant, just to say sorry to her dad.

So send them a message (not a please call me) and tell them you love them. It might freak them out a bit, but at least they know.

Have fun

J